breathe in, laugh out

It was a Thursday afternoon. Yesterday, Thursday to be exact. As a medical sales rep, I bring lunch to offices on occasion. On this occasion, I was bringing Olive Garden.

With my $130 worth of Olive Garden in hand, I enter the doctor’s office only to find that they had double booked the lunch with the Vesicare rep, and everyone was already eating her food. So I hid mine in a corner, and we double teamed the meeting.

Driving back up from the Mexican border with 3 tins of Olive Garden food in my car, I was wondering what I was going to do with it all. I thought about who would appreciate it most.

1. My broke little sister
2. BRIE

Brie LOVES the Olive Garden more than any human should love a chain restaurant. We went on a girl date there a couple of months ago, and she couldn’t stop talking about it for weeks… there were Facebook statuses, follow-up texts, the works. I knew the amount of OG food I had in my back seat was enough to make her jump with glee. I just wasn’t sure how I was going to make my delivery.

I made my first stop at Carissa’s apartment and spread the trays of food out on her table. I told her I wanted to secretly leave some of it at Brie’s house with a note. She thought it was a fabulous idea, and pulled out a large tin with a plastic lid from one of her cabinets… leftover from Thanksgiving. Perfect. We loaded the tin with the three entrees and threw in a bag of breadsticks. Then, came the note:

We were giggling like children and really excited to make the delivery. When we got to Brie’s place, I pulled over illegally and asked Carissa to go drop it next to her front door. 2 minutes later, she calls me.

I ask, “Where did you go? I didn’t see you go up her steps.”

“Her front door is WIDE open. Someone’s in there.”

It was about 4pm, so I knew Brie wasn’t home yet. I assumed it was her roommate who works nights.

“Oh it’s probably K-wags. Hold on, I’ll be right there.”

I turned off the car and ran over. Sure enough, the door was wide open, and the apartment was up a long flight of stairs. I took the bag from Carissa and said, “I’m going…”

We’re whispering and trying not to laugh, and as I start climbing the stairs, she tells me to run. But I didn’t want the bag to make noise, so I slowly proceeded. At the top, I reached over, quietly dropped the bag, and sprinted down the stairs. The two of us ran like banshees across the grass and back into my car, and just started laughing hysterically.

“I really hope she tells us that she gets this…”

Sure enough, she hadn’t even made it home yet, when we got a group text from her saying that someone dropped off a bag of Olive Garden when K-wags was sitting right in front of the open door doing laundry.

For about two hours, V, T, and Brie went back and forth trying to figure out who did it, with guesses ranging from every single one of our guy friends to the creepy neighbor that lives downstairs. I didn’t respond much. I couldn’t. I was dying.

We had Bunco night at our house last night, and Brie coming over, so I knew I couldn’t bring the rest of the tins home. I left them in Carissa’s fridge. When I got home from the gym later that night and everyone was already over, the note was out, the Olive Garden bag was there, and all the girls were talking about who it could be. It was so hard to keep a straight face. But Brie was in her glory with the tin in her lap and fork and knife in hand. And that made me happy.

She won’t know the culprit until she reads this post… and she just pulled in my driveway. I think I might get murdered tonight. So I will leave you on this note:

Guys… it doesn’t take much to make a girl happy. Shucks, a tin of leftover Olive Garden and you’ll have her over the moon for days. Use this as a lesson. Pay attention, and throw a little surprise in there once in a while.

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovers!!! Out to paint the town…

xoxo
Gossip Girl