I’ve been spending my time unemployed the same way I’d imagine most would be… I’ve made business cards for my dog, and watched 87 episodes of Gossip Girl (that’s not an exaggeration…I’m on season four, episode 22). I’ve also created a profile for a website called Backstage, which casts for extras and background work. I figure when I’m not busy going on real interviews and trying to make my dog instagram-famous, (follow him and tell all your friends), I can keep busy standing around in a crowd of wanna-be-actors and maybe make a few bucks here and there.
While I’ve so-far been too busy with Gossip Girl to actually do much with the Backstage website, I did get an email asking if I’d be interested in being hair model for Bumble and Bumble. They wanted to style my hair and do some before/after pics. I assume it’s because they looked at my non-brushed hair in my profile pic, and decided that so much could be done to improve that mane. I’d be handsomely rewarded with: “A complimentary editorial style (SOLELY styling- no scissors or color used) + TWO full size Bumble and Bumble products to take home.” OMG… TWO full size Bumble and Bumble products to TAKE HOME! Sold.
Ginge and I have a thing. Whenever I make an appointment to get my hair done, I let him know in advance that he’ll need to take me on a date that night, since you know, my hair will look so good. So I confirmed my hair modeling gig, bragged about it for a week, and got a date night on the books. I was gonna look gooooooooood!
I arrived to the salon on time and learned that people are rude to hair models. I tried to make conversation, but no one wanted to talk to me. Is this how all models are treated? Or just the hair type? They also didn’t tell me what they were going to do to me, and I didn’t ask. I figured I’d just wait to be surprised at my fabulous new look. Two hours later I took a gander in the mirror at the almost-finished product, and I kid-you-not, I looked like Elvis Presley. The text went out to my friends group chat, who had to hear at-length about my hair modeling job for days, “I look like Elvis.” I wasn’t sure how to react. The BB people took some pictures and told me how great it looked, I shoved my free TWO FULL SIZED PRODUCTS in my bag, and off I went… into public.
My first step out the door of the salon, I took a few selfies to capture my new ‘do. Thank goodness, because by the time I made it to my car, it had fallen at least 3-inches. I can’t even say photos do it proper justice…. My friends reacted:
Because this is what I looked like:
I can’t even fathom why they would think this is a good look for anyone in this decade? My girlfriends told me my date night was ruined. I couldn’t wait to show Ginge, but by the time I got home it was almost fully deflated (deflated? is that what you’d call it?) I think that means they did a shitty job. The Elvis look wasn’t sustainable once standing and walking occurred. And the selfies continued:
In the grand scheme of things… I have 7 pounds of product in my hair, but at least I got my date night.
xoxo
Gossip Girl
breathe in, laugh out 