Scum Between My Toes… Bobby Birmingham (the third)

I’ve been played like a fiddle! It’s a fact. Backed up by facts. And more facts. And lots and lots of screenshots.

So remember the story about the 4 Month Husband? If you don’t, or you haven’t read it, or you need a refresher, click here: The 4 Month Husband. Like just do it. The following story will make way more sense if you do. Promise.

Husband doesn’t have Facebook. I remember a fishy comment made by his brother last winter that he “couldn’t” have Facebook, or something to that effect, but I didn’t think much of it, and just assumed he maybe had a crazy ex-girlfriend or something. But I AM Facebook friends with his brother, Rory.

Husband moved to Atlanta “for work,” at the end of July- same exact time I moved to California. After almost a year of intermittent communication (CERTAINLY not consistent), and seeing each other here and there, I just pegged him as a nice, really fun guy with a great job, but one in which required a ton of travel.

So I was doing my regular Facebook perusing yesterday, and noticed his brother Rory was tagged in a photo with Husband, Bobby. I hadn’t thought about Husband Bobby in a while, so I clicked on Rory’s page and looked at a couple of photos. There was one, posted from a girl who I didn’t know, and I randomly clicked on her face. Husband Bobby was in her cover photo standing next to her and what looked to be her family. I thought “Oh! Husband Bobby got a girlfriend already in Atlanta! Super cute!”

Clicking on her profile photos, though was a little funny. There were photos of her and Husband Bobby, that went back quite a while. They were all visible to the public, so you didn’t have to be friends with her to see them. She had also written several posts over the past year which were visible to the public……………. which had me sitting in front of my laptop with my jaw dropped open.

Husband Bobby…. Bobby Birmingham the third, to be precise, had a girlfriend. The.Whole.Time. She lived in Atlanta. Holy freakin’ ;lsadfjka;ldskjfa;ldskfjadl;ksjfa;lkdjfa;lkdja;ldkjf;aldksjfal;dksfja;lkdfja;lkdsfja;sdlfkja;dlskjfa;ldsjf;aldkjfa;ldkjfa;dl.

I had no idea. And when I say no idea, I mean NO.IDEA. We had conversations about girlfriends, boyfriends, exes…. and she was not the one mentioned. There were lots of photos of Husband Bobby’s ex from San Diego on his brothers Facebook page, but zero current photos with any girls. Until now. Until yesterday when I happened to come across the update on my newsfeed.

How could someone do that? It wasn’t like he met me out one day and flirted with me, and that was it…. although it may explain him leaving the bar that first day WITHOUT my number… it may explain a lot of things, actually. But he was in communication THROUGHOUT THE YEAR. THE WHOLE YEAR. I have text messages on my phone from the beginning of time; I suppose if there were such thing as a text hoarder, I’d be one. I pulled up his name, and sure enough, I had every single text still in my phone. Which allowed me to correspond this poor girl’s Facebook public updates to his communication with me. I feel sick to my stomach for this girl. Does she have NO IDEA? Do I tell her? Would I want to know? Yes, I would want to know. I think any girl would want to know. Is it my place to tell her? I don’t know. No. Probably not. I don’t know her. But I do feel somewhat of a moral dilemma.

Guys, don’t do this. It’s sickening. I’m mad. I’m more mad for her than I am for myself. He didn’t owe me anything. We never actually dated. What he did over this year was wrong, scummy and disturbing. And I fell right on into it all. And I wish I could send out a public service announcement to have him banned from all women. Here’s a glimpse into the past year…. a sampling, if you will….

 

Husband Bobby: White bubbles on left

Me: Green bubbles on right

Bobby and I met on October 14th… two weeks before his 29th birthday.

October 30, 2012

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Two days before his birthday:

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December 20, 2012:

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5 days prior:

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And a couple of weeks later… Girlfriend comes to visit again:

 

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February 13, 2013:

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A week before girlfriend comes for a visit we have our first real date (four months after meeting):

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Date went well… Four days before girlfriend visits: Booty-call attempt? [FAIL]:

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And the next morning:

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I guess I thought I liked him after our first date…

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DURING the visit from his girlfriend (which happened to be on VALENTINE’S DAY)… And immediately after….

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No date stamp on this one, but it directly followed the one above, Still February 22, 2013:

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My sister and I met him and his brother at White Rabbit that night. Then we all crashed in his brother’s living room on the LES that night.

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February 28, 2013:

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Hey Bobby… you left out the part about how you were skiing for 6 days WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

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May 28, 2013:

Girlfriend visiting NYC again….

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Two days prior:

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May take it easy because YOUR GIRLFRIEND is in town visiting? Ohhhh!

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July 4, 2013…. Girlfriend in NYC:

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4 days prior to the July 4th visit:

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And then a week AFTER the visit:

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Well we met up at Husband Bobby’s apartment that night and then went out with a bunch of friends. I suppose we had such a great time THAT night, that the next….

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Then I moved to California. Then Husband Bobby moved to Atlanta… “for work.” I know overkilled on these screenshots, but I felt the need to drive my point home. I don’t think I’ve ever been so fooled before in my life… but hey, I guess I could have been, right??

I think I need to put all men on a time-out.

I’d like to thank my girlfriends, specifically Team KP, for helping to develop and hone my internet stalkage skills. Without them, this post wouldn’t be possible.

And I ask you, my friends, what would YOU do, had you stumbled upon this information?

xoxo

Gossip Girl

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