You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide

The reason I’m typing this right now is because I have to be up for work at 5am, so I obviously can’t sleep… that’s just the way it works, isn’t it?  So back open comes the laptop.

Where did I leave off with JR?  OH… at the non-plan plans for Lobster Taco Night.  Well it turned out they were actual plans… we ended up meeting at a place called World Famous on the beach on Wednesday night.  I’ve never had any sort of taco with fish in it before (is that pretty weird?), but they were very enjoyable.  We had a couple of glasses of wine, and JR’s toast was to our first night out ALONE (what, you don’t like me bringing my sister on dates?!) , and then after dinner he suggested we go to this place a couple of blocks away that has comedy night on Wednesday nights.  I was enjoying myself enough, so I agreed.

The first few guys to get on stage were ehhhh…. I was kinda like these guys aren’t that funny….

JR agreed, but whispered, “Look over there to the right… there’s a fat guy waiting to go on.  Fat guys are always funny.”

Sure enough…the fat guy was funny… or maybe it was just that we had more wine by the time it was his turn.  I had never been to a comedy show before, so that was two firsts in one night.  JR was fun, and cute, but kept his arms distance for most of the night, which I didn’t mind but thought was a bit strange because he was the one that seemed so intent on keeping something going.  Towards the end of the comedy thing, he finally loosened up a little, and snuck an arm around me.  I didn’t mind that either.

Although I knew he was leaving again for The Netherlands on Sunday, we didn’t say goodbye that night.  I guess I just didn’t think about it, but afterwards realized I probably wouldn’t see him again for like another month, if ever.  During one of our text chats, I mentioned I didn’t say goodbye, and he said he hoped we’d see each other again before Sunday.  I asked when, and he said “possibly tomorrow?” which would mean Friday… but he originally had plans with his little brother, so I wasn’t really counting on it.

Anyway, Friday comes around, and it’s become the norm to start off the night in the living room with Carissa and V… until we get too hot or antsy, and then move to the front porch.  We sat out there for a long time, drinking beers and delaying making ourselves look presentable to the public.  My friend Theo had asked us to join for happy hour at a place called Jonny V’s that I’d never been to.  It sounded like they had a fab happy hour deal from 4-10pm, but our lazy asses didn’t even get out of the house ’til 9:30, so we were basically going to miss it.

We walked into town, realizing halfway that if we hurried a little, we’d make the deal by like 5 minutes and since we are a combination of poor and penny pinchers, always looking for good deals, we booked it.  Not to mention we all started having to pee really badly (sorry mom, I mean urinate… ) (sorry mom again, you probably don’t think it’s lady-like to speak about urination… but we had to go).

Somewhere along the walk I sent JR a simple text, “Are you going out tonight?”

I was half expecting him to say no, and half expecting him to say yes, but he was with his brother.  He hadn’t answered yet.  We arrived at the door, and I quickly gave my ID and ran to the bar without discussing my plan with Carissa and V.  They probably assumed I ran to the ladies room (which is what they did), but I wanted to make it in time for the deal, so I figured I’d get us a round, then we’d all go to the bathroom.

It didn’t work like that.  I lost them… so I was walking around in a frantic panic looking for them with three drinks in my hand.  I couldn’t put them down and go to the bathroom because they’d surely get roofied.  I decided to start calling them.  But I figured my best bet was to look AND call at the same time, instead of putting the drinks down to hold my phone… so with three full glasses in my hands, and a phone shoved between my ear and my shoulder, I’m looking around and who do I see?  Not Carissa… Not V…. No… It was JR.  Standing there at the bar.  W….T….F?!

We locked eyes immediately, and both had confused looks on our faces.  At this point I didn’t even care that I randomly ran into him.  I just frantically shoved one of the glasses at him and said I needed to find Carissa and V.  A second later I see them coming… hand them the other two drinks and run off to the bathroom.  It’s there that I realize what just happened.  WHAT…ARE…THE…CHANCES?!  This happens to me so often I feel like I shouldn’t even be surprised anymore.  There are probably 200 bars in this town.  He doesn’t even live in this town.  And he is at the same one in the same room at the same exact time.

I go back out, and he introduces me to his buddy.  I tell him it’s a good thing he just ignored my text instead of lying about if he was out, because THAT would have been embarrassing!  He said he just got the text when he was getting out of the car.   Mmmmhhhhmmmmmmm…..  So after a brief conversation, I turn to the girls and say we should probably at least go to a different area because he obviously had no intentions of seeing me right now, and was with his dude.  We moved on to play pool with some Navy guys, but the boys were still within sight.  We conversed here and there, before the girls decided to go to another place that played country music.

I let JR know we’d be leaving, and politely told him they were welcome to come.  His buddy had to be up early to ride his bike 70 miles the next day… [SEVENTY MILES]…. so he’d be going home after that drink, but JR said he wanted to meet us.  So the girls left, and the guys stayed.  Reds is amazing… it turns into a country/western dance party on weekend nights, so we were having a blast. I half expected JR not to come, but he did.   The rest of the night was a lot of fun.

Saturday,  JR told me he had work to do all day, but asked me to meet him for lunch at a cafe in between our two houses.  I did.  He’s interesting to talk to.  His facial expressions give me something to think about.  And his hair makes me want to take my hand and just mess it up a little.  I think his hair actually resembles his personality and his take on life.  I kinda just want to take my hand and mess it all up a little.

Now he’s gone… back to The Netherlands… haven’t heard from him since before he left.  I guess I don’t know if I’m going to see him again.  I guess I can’t really tell if I care either way.  Hmmm… something to ponder.

I think I need to make myself go to sleep now…. Tata for now, Munchkins.


Gossip Girl



Jake from State Farm

I’m sitting in my car in Mexico waiting for Olive Garden to bring food out for a doctor’s office, so I figured I’d start a post.  I might not actually be in Mexico, I don’t know… but there’s border control everywhere and my car thermometer says 119 degrees.  I think they might be looking for my sister’s new Mexican lover, Tonto.

So I’ve only been out in SoCal for two weeks, but I’ve already made some general notes about the men here:

1.  They’re lazy

2.  They don’t care that they’re lazy

3.  The lazier they are, the cooler they think they are

4.  “The waves are totally tubular dudeeeee”

5.  They expect you to go hiking with them

6.  They’re pretty sexual… surfer-sexual

So I’ll start you out here with my first dude story…. There was Jake [from State Farm].  Jake from State Farm somehow matched with me on Tinder at some point when Carissa and I were in the dead middle of the country on our drive out here.  Don’t ask me how, because that game is based upon your proximity to each other.  All I can think of is that he originally swiped right on me (swipe right = “I’m interested”) when I was out visiting San Diego in early July, so I guess he automatically popped up once I started playing the game again during the drive.  He was “surfer sexual.”  Long(ish) wavy hair, an awesome tan, baby blue eyes and some scruff on his chiseled face.  When he messaged me and asked why I was 2000 miles away, I explained, and he told me there would be beers waiting for us at the finish line once we arrived in Pacific Beach.  He conveniently lives in Mission Beach, about a mile away.  Okay… I’ll take it.

We messaged intermittently over the week.  We progressed to texting.  Then when we finally arrived, we were obviously BUSY, but he was persistent in wanting us to cash in on those beers.  Persistent to the point of CALLING me after I told him I was busy car shopping with my sister.  Okok.

So we arrived on a Friday afternoon.  That Sunday was obviously reserved as Funday.  Carissa and I hit up a spot on the beach for beers, and Jake from State Farm said he was going to come meet us.  As we’re sitting there at a table on the deck sharing a pitcher, Carissa burps loudly, as she does, and then looks up and says “Jake?”

I guess she recognized him from the Tinder pictures she saw.  I didn’t know he was going to be there so soon, so I wasn’t even on the lookout.  It was him.  I think the first thing I said to him was “Oh, hi.  I have that same shirt.”

I don’t know why I said that.  It was just a white cotton button down.  I guess I’d categorize it as “classy surfer-casual.”  He looked good.  As good as his photos.  But when he finally took his aviator sunglasses off when sunset hit, he looked even better.  His eyes were super blue and went nicely with his tanned surfer skin and natural dirty blonde highlights.  This, my friends, is usually not my type…. buttttttttt “when in SoCal….”

We started talking.  Soon, my friend Tier, and roommate V came to join us.  Jake from State Farm and I talked a lot about random things, and he admitted he was tracking our journey by clicking on my Tinder page over the past week to see how many miles away we were.  We discussed a book that has a lot of meaning to me, even though I’ve never read it.  I decided he was the sign I needed to allow myself to read it.  Weird?  Yeah… we were sort of on the same weird wavelength.

The sun was down and our group decided to move on to another bar along the boardwalk.  Jake from State Farm very well could have taken this as his cue to say “nice to meet you,” and go on his merry way.  But instead, he suggested another bar that was hopping, and offered me a ride on his beach cruiser.  The group got a head start on foot, and I hopped on the back of his bike, standing on the pegs.  He rode me down the boardwalk, with the night crew partying at the bars to our right, and the calm ocean on our left.

We got to the next place which was a little more rowdy than the daytime beach scene.  When dance music comes on, I like to act like an idiot.  Half to mock the people actually dancing, and half because I start laughing so hard, I can’t stop.  To my surprise, Jake from State Farm shared similar dance moves.  From the moment we started, we were in sync.  Our “moves” just jived perfectly, and we couldn’t have looked like bigger morons.  That was it.  I was in love.

Love… true, true love.  It was the Sunday before my first day of work, so I left to go home before the rest of the crew.  Jake from State Farm left too, but had his bike, so we said goodbye and parted ways as he headed back to Mission Beach and I grabbed a cab back home.  When I got home I sat around for a bit, and V came in soon after.  I told her,

“We’re in love!”

She knew.

I was obviously not being serious…. at all…. but this combination of a common novel, and our off-the-wall dance moves kept me intrigued.  We texted that night, and both admitted we had Facebook stalked each other.  We said we’d love to see each other again soon.

Then…. nothing.

Nothing I tell ya.  Nothing.  One, maybe two random boring texts, with long breaks in between responses over the next two days.  That was it.  Kaput.

Jake from State Farm, W……T…….F?

My sister says, “Get over it, he’s not your type anyway.”

“Maybe not, but I just don’t get it.”

“He’s short.”

“But he’s a good dancer.”

“Neither of you is a good dancer.”

“That’s the point.”

It’s true… he’s not my typical “type…”  But that was kind of also the point.    Two Sundays ago, “surfer-sexual” was my type.  Jake from State Farm… he was my type.  And now…. poof.  Into the wind…. like the cloud of smoke from all the drugs he probably does.  He’s gone.  See you never, my sexual friend.  See you never….

xoxo Gossip Girl

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