breathe in, laugh out

JR went back to Amsterdam and forgot about me… on purpose.  What?!  You ask?  I asked the same thing.

He went from: “all up my ass,” if you will… to silence.  Knowing me, you’d know I don’t just take hints.  I need to GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT.  So of course, after a week of radio silence, I straight out asked him what the H was going on.  He informed me that he stopped talking to me on purpose, because he wanted to see how he would feel without talking to me, to figure out if we were right for each other.

Well first of all, WTF, dude.  We’ve known each other for like 3 weeks.  Do you think you’re going to cry yourself to sleep every night in the absence of talking to me?  I don’t really think it works that way.  And secondly, that’s just RUDE.  If you decide you want to not speak to someone you’ve been seeing regularly, to see how you’re feeling, it would probably be the nice thing to do to INFORM ME beforehand that this is the tactic you’re taking, without me having to flat-out ask.

In any case, I let that whole thing linger for a couple of days because I was in Philly taking part in the wedding weekend extravaganza of the year and ain’t nobody got time fo’ that.   He could sit around and ponder all he wanted.

Then I got back to San Diego, and was like, that’s just absolutely ridiculous.  When you first meet someone you should WANT to talk to them, if it’s ever going to go anywhere…and THIS is the problem with online dating.  It’s all so backwards.  You question everything right off the bat, instead of trying to pursue each other because you LIKE each other.

So I wrote him a nice long message telling him basically that I’d make the decision easier for everyone, and say we’re probably not right for each other, so stop your long hard thinking, and we will both move on.  I ALSO told him, that he is approaching finding a wife like a business deal, and he needs to stop over-analyzing and just relax and let things happen if he ever wants to be in a real relationship.  I told him what he was doing was exhausting and backwards, and off-putting.  I also told him his tactic of ignoring me instead of communicating what he was doing was a dick move.  He agreed on all accounts.  So to make this extremely long story short (or is it too late for that?)… ON TO THE NEXT ONE.

Which was last night, and so boring and awful that I’m not even going to talk about him.

Also, I woke up this morning and wrote that Tinder guy a weird poem that didn’t make any sense:

Questions still hanging, blowing in the air

Running, ducking, crouching behind the tree

The old woman still breathes,

The children outside shout with glee

The cat purrs in rhythm with the ticking

Of the old mans pocket watch

As he watches his wife struggle for air

The trees have turned red, and orange and brown

Burnt colors of autumn, but the man just stares

At the memory of a woman once filled with joy

She now has not even a tear

The cat shuts his eyes, thinks of the boy

Who once kept the woman laughing in the chair

No laughter, no more

The pocket watch ticks and ticks and ticks

Instead of him responding to my poem with another poem, he wrote:

“Not sure what this is about, but I like the poem.”

I then responded:  ” You’re supposed to reply with one.  Isn’t that how this works?”

Then I got this:

“Is what we do normal

is it so informal

That in my life

I go unrecognized

By the sounds of vally

I here now testify

That I will not live a lie

Fear will never draw me shy

It’s going to be alright

Give it everything, fight.

Sing to to highlands

Dance to seasons

Show your passions

Lay your foundation

Bring our town

To a new recognition

Sing to the highlands

Dance to the seasons

Give me me 4 reasons to sing this song”

 

“It’s been a lil while since we spoke. Sorry. I’m totally
game to pursue what I said before. Thanks for the very nice poem. Ill
keep sending more. Looking forward to this :)”