Fork in the Road

10 Oct 2016 5 Comments

by CoJo in dating, fun, life, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Hello my old friend. I used to come to you to bitch about first dates gone wrong, and make fun of my mother. I feel like I’ve been neglecting you now that I haven’t had a first date in almost three years, and my mother now lives about 3,000 miles too far away to make fun of on a regular basis.

In any case, I’ve found myself in a situation in which I’m in-between striving for ordinary, and purchasing a one way plane ticket to somewhere… anywhere I’ve never been before, and figuring the rest out from there.  In short, the situation is called unemployment.  I’ve gotten laid off, yet again… a result of working for a start-up that got bought out shortly after I began my employment.  I didn’t cry when I found out.  I was somewhat expecting the call when I heard we were getting acquired.  (I’m lying.  I definitely cried… but only for like 3.5 minutes, which I think is basically considered not crying).

IS IT A SIGN???  IT’S A SIGN!  I’m destined for bigger things!  The past 3 years since I moved out to California have been tumultuous, career-wise.  Although, with every closed-door, a new one presented itself very quickly.  Sometimes it presented itself before I was even really ready to walk through it (that’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever typed).  For the first time in my career, I have found myself a full week without a job or even a lead.  WHAT.IS.GOING.ON?  HELLO?!  I’ve applied to every medical sales and sales management position on this side of the Mississippi (well, mostly ones in California), as well as signed up for websites that cast extras for TV and film… you know to pass the time while I look for a real job.

Expecting to be bombarded with emails and phone calls after day one of getting out my professional resume and my adorable self-taken head-shot (ok, it was a selfie),  I was sadly wrong, and baffled.  No one wants me.  I feel alone.  I feel lost.  Not in the sad, actual lonely, lost way.  Just in the confused, anxious, bored, what-do-I-do-now way (hey there…wine).

I’ve said countless times that next time I find myself unemployed, I will not jump straight to the next job again.  I’ve vowed to take an international trip, maybe back to somewhere in Africa, work my way around the world, and then come back and figure out my next move.  But when unemployment actually happens, I get this feeling… I don’t know what to call it… hmmm…panic?  Logically, I know I’ll find a new job eventually, but the thought of my severance running out in a month (tick, tick, tick… 3 weeks), and no direct deposits entering my bank account for the foreseeable future, just straight rubs me the wrong way. Seems wrong. Is taking off and gallivanting the world really the best move?

Also, I’m an introvert. “WHAT?!?  STFU COURTNEY YOU ARE NOT AN INTROVERT.”  Yes I freakin’ am.  I’m slightly terrified to travel alone for an extended period of time.  I’m not scared of the unknown, or finding my way around, or flying by myself.  I’m scared of having no one to talk to because I’m sometimes bad at entering into social situations I’m not familiar with by myself.  If I have someone with me that I know, it completely changes my dynamic and my attitude, which is why some of you may not believe that I’m actually, deep down, an introvert.  You’ve never seen me in an uncomfortable situation by myself.  It’s weird, it’s strange, and I don’t like it.  And I’m being very open with all you random people right now for some unknown reason.  Probably because I’m unemployed, bored, and have nothing else to do but open my emotions to the world-wide interwebs.

So here I am… at a fork in the road.  Can you call it a fork if there are more than two ways to go?  I think you can, because actual forks usually have three to four prongs.  I had to replace my three-pronged forks with four-pronged ones because I was getting complaints from guests.  In any case… If I take this fork to the left:  I find another well-paying job within my comfort zone of medical sales. Sell my soul. Pay my bills. The fork goes right:  I take off and travel the world, apply for a volunteer opportunity or two and come back by Christmas or my family will have my head on a platter.  The fork goes straight, dead ahead:  Someone from The Bachelor Franchise realizes I’m destined to work for them.  I become best friends with Chris Harrison, and live happily ever after.

help.

xoxo, Chickadees.

fork_in_the_road

My Mother Got Me A Job… And She Doesn’t Know It…

22 Oct 2015 2 Comments

by CoJo in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

It’s pretty funny how things happen.

About three years ago, my mother, T-Diddy, as we call her, came to visit me in Hoboken, NJ where I lived at the time.  She brought her bestie, my Aunt Di, my sissy Rissy, and my cousins, Tara and Sam.  During this visit we did a lot of things, such as eat Italian food, drink wine, and eat frozen yogurt, and drink more wine [eat, drink, eat, drink…repeat…usual things].

The other thing T-Diddy felt necessary to do during this trip, was to try her hand at match-making.  This wasn’t a new thing for her, but she had never been very successful before.

We were all hanging out by the water, taking in the sights of Manhattan across the Hudson River, when T-Diddy spotted a handsome man playing with his dog near us.  In true T-Diddy fashion, she approached this man, asking if he was single.  Turned out, this man was in fact, single; so she made quite the effort to bring her oldest daughter (me), over to introduce to this random man.  She encouraged an exchange of numbers, and I’m sure she felt very accomplished.

This man, “J,” we will call him, actually followed through and called to ask me on a date.  Myself, as a nice, classy lady, agreed to the date, and of course chugged at least one (read: three)  glasses of wine beforehand, normal first date preparation.  He took me to a nice place I had never been to, and me, being myself, after some interesting conversation, asked him if he was gay.  He said he wasn’t, but me, being myself some more, decided to not believe him.  Openly not believe him… like as in, telling him I didn’t believe him.   Turns out, I’m not sure what his actual sexual orientation is, nor does it matter, but after that date, neither of us contacted the other ever again….Ever….

…Until [flash forward] three years later… when I decided I needed to look for a new job.  I subscribed to LinkedIn Premium… don’t get me started on what that is, because I’m not entirely sure…all I know is I paid money for it;  but I was on this website day-in, and day-out for several days perusing some opportunities.  Who did I come across? Obviously, I happened to see “J.” [hence this blog post].  Although I now live on the complete opposite side of the country, in San Diego, I noticed “J” now owns a recruiting firm that specializes in Medical/Biotech Sales (and which he named after his dog)… hmmm…. how ironic.  Just the type of position I’m looking for.

What did I do?  I shamelessly inboxed the guy on LinkedIn.  I mentioned that we had met several years ago in Hoboken, [hoping he had forgotten the actual circumstances, but maybe recognized my name].  He responded positively [what?!] mentioning the place we had gone out [how did he even remember–? I didn’t!], and he told me to send him my resume in case he came across any appropriate SoCal job openings, although he didn’t have any at the time.  I sent the resume.

Two weeks later I get a call from a recruiter in his office…. “‘J’ gave me your resume;… we have an opportunity for you.”

Flash forward… I’m now employed by this company “J’s” firm proposed.

Thanks, T-Diddy… you’ve been there for me through thick and thin, you’ve stuck your neck out when you felt I needed a man in my life, [even when I didn’t agree], and whatever else you thought you were doing that was helpful…[it’s really usually not helpful at all… but I love you anyway for it].  What you don’t know until now is that the handsome [gay?] guy with the dog you hit on for me three years ago is responsible for my most recent employment..   You’re the best.  I owe you one.

xoxo

Gossip Girl

Some Random Thursday Notes…

22 Aug 2013 3 Comments

by CoJo in dating, fun, life Tags: , , , , , ,

I really hate when guys from Tinder say:  “why the hell are you on Tinder?” implying there must be something very wrong with me that they haven’t yet figured out, which makes me think there must be something very wrong with THEM…

“Why is anyone on Tinder??” is usually my response… which makes them realize they’re on Tinder as well, which is how they started talking to me in the first place.

Guys from OkCupid say “Tinder’s just for hookups…” which is when I say to them, “Some people say the same about OkCupid.”

Guys from match.com say “OkCupid and Tinder are for people who aren’t actually serious about finding someone to date.”

And when I ask why they think that, their response is “because you don’t have to PAY for those sites.”

Oh I’m sorry, I’d feel much more comfortable PAYING MONEY for my next boyfriend.  You’re right.  Let me weed out the dating sites based on how much they cost.

Guys who are on no dating sites at all say, “Why are you on those sites???”

“WHY NOT????” I obviously have not met my future husband at the library or at a bar… so whyyyyy the heck not?

In any case, I must somehow be oozing desperation?  My married co-worker who covers the LA territory texted me yesterday:

A:  “Are u on Facebook?”

Me:  “Yeah I am”

A:  “I was going to show u a buddy’s profile who I think you should meet.  6’5, blonde, athletic…36 or 37… sells advertising for a   reputable magazine… fun dude.”

Me:  “Besides the blonde, sounds good.”

So I checked him out, and gave A the go-ahead to send him my info.  I think he’s a little too good-looking for me.  But A assured me he knows what he’s doing, and he thinks we’d hit it off.  I don’t really mesh well with “pretty-boys” because I feel like they usually want “pretty-girls,” of which I am not.  I’m not the girliest of girls.  And it’s hard for me to pretend I am.  Not that I’d want to pretend I was…but you get the point.

In other news, I pulled up to an office yesterday for work, and put my scrub top on (I wear less clothing to drive between offices).  I got out of my car with my pants still pushed up to my knees like a gangsta, and as I walked towards the door they began to fall into place… one at a time.  So if you want to picture this… bright neon sneakers with a shirt half-on, tank top underneath, and one pant leg rolled up to the knee…with a huge bag over my shoulder.  There was no one around at this time, so I had plenty of time to fix myself before I reached the door.

So I thought…. a dude in a Mariner sitting in the parking lot rolls his window down as I’m walking by his car and shouts out “Hey!  Are you from Jersey?”

I jumped.  I didn’t see him there.  Damn, I need to get my plates changed.  I turn around to his open window.  He’s in blue Boston Scientific scrubs, so I felt immediately comforted.  One of my own.  I haven’t seen any device reps around since I’ve been out here.  Turns out he is originally from Long Island too, only a half an hour from where I grew up.  He moved out to the west coast with another large device company a couple of years ago.  We immediately had a friendly connection; he felt for me being such a newbie here, and he sold a spinal cord stimulator, which is a position I had applied for back east.  So we had a lot of common ground.  We exchanged cards.

I’m wondering if I may have been too friendly, because he has already texted me several times, and actually called me this morning while I was on a conference call.  I thought he’d be a great professional connection to have, but I’m not sure if he is seeing this connection as professional or personal.  And as awesome as he seemed, I’m not really into dating anyone in the same profession.  Sales people are such d-bags.

I guess that’s enough for my long-winded update of the day.  It’s Thursday.  Thank goodness…. I’m thirsty.

xoxo

Gossip Girl

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